I love how God manages to speak to us sometimes. 
This morning a thunderstorm woke me up, and when I reached for my phone to see what time it was, I realized it was my quiet time. So I went to get up to go to my usual place when the idea popped into my mind to stay in bed, enjoy the storm, and rest in God’s presence. Which is sort of funny because isn’t that the idea we always hope God will send our way…’Dear child, I love you so much today that I just want you to go back to sleep’? lol. But it wasn’t really that way. It wasn’t for me to go back to sleep…it was for me to rest.
So for a minute I was unsure of what to do, but since reading relaxes me, I decided to read a couple of chapters in a book I hadn’t yet finished.
And…bingo. God spoke.
If you’ve ever needed {and pursued} an emotional/mental healing from God, this passage will resonate with you. If, however, you’re in need of one and either you haven’t pursued it or you’re simply stuck somewhere in the process, let me share what I read in Mary DeMuth’s Beautiful Battle…. {some are bits from Chapter 13, others are full paragraphs. Sorry, it was just too good.}…
“Satan exploits us where we’re wounded. A significant part of spiritual warfare, then, has to do with the holy habit of chasing after our own healing. It’s one of the most excruciating things {you} can walk through. It’s like stepping into a dark tunnel. And when you step inside, two things happen: 1. The movie of your life plays out before you in the darkness. 2. Jesus holds your hand as you watch the movie together. Yet healing isn’t a one-time event. …healing is like peeling an onion. The more layers you dig into, the more tears will come.”
But she says…“you have to want to be transformed. Jesus asked the paralytic, ‘Do you want to get well?’ Notice that the man, lame and crippled, didn’t answer the question. And yet, even in his frail state, not knowing how to answer such a question, Jesus reached out His hand to the man and restored him.”
Don’t you love that? Maybe the man was so weary from his condition that he couldn’t even form the correct answer, but I love that Jesus healed him anyways. And if you can’t seem to form the ‘correct’ answer to Jesus’ question, ‘Do you want to be made whole?’…don’t worry, He can read your heart.
Mary goes on…“the difference between those who are emotionally healed from their past and those who are enslaved by the past is this: tenacious pursuit of healing. Your past will either haunt you or it will break you enough to reach for rescue. Which will you choose?”
Because it is a choice. That’s how much God loves you. He doesn’t make you become whole. It’s His desire for you, but He will never force you to go where you don’t want to go. Even if it is for your best.
“We all have distress from yesterday. The question becomes, then: Will you let it drive you to God or from God, making yourself vulnerable to Satan’s lies and schemes? God is able to transform your heart. He can salve the bitterness, slake the fear, giving you a heart of compassion and forgiveness. But you have to choose – actively choose. Running from God will only lead to a lifetime of bad choices, deep regret, and an open door for Satan’s activity.”
Then here was the point that resonated from where I came from…
“Those who have happy lives tend to view God joyfully, as a Father who takes great care of His children. Those who live difficult lives tend to view God skeptically, intellectually knowing He is good, but not truly embracing His goodness. We scream in fear because we cannot conceive of God as being for us. We project on Him our humanness. We misunderstand Him. Understanding the perplexity of God’s ways gives us a higher view of God’s sovereignty in our lives. We can learn to see the past, even if it’s checkered with pain, regret, and neglect, as a gift – a strategic part of God’s redemptive plan for the world.”
She goes on to give three main points:
1. Healing isn’t easy. “Healing involves dogged, tiring pursuit. L.B. Cowman expands on this idea: ‘The reason so many fail in this experience of divine healing is because they expect to have it all without a struggle, and when conflict comes and the battle wages long, they become discouraged and surrender. God has nothing worth having that is easy.”
“The difference between someone who’s dared to walk through healing and one who shrinks back afraid is this: one had grit; the other gave up. You have to want to be well. You have to want to push through. You have to be so sick of your own bad behavior…that you run to Jesus seeking help.”
2. It’s not only for your sake. “Not only must you be tired of living life in response to the past, you have to make a choice to open your eyes as to how your behavior affects your loved ones. The best gift you can give others is your healing. Your walled-off heart is no good to your children, your spouse, your friends. Your bitterness hurts every current relationship you have, and it gives Satan a foothold in your life.”
3. Remember forgiveness. “Consider the importance of forgiveness in the healing journey. Part of Satan’s scheme is to wrack you so deeply in unforgiveness that you remove your heart from people. In the field of unforgiveness, hatred grows. And where hatred grows, Satan’s direct influence in your life flourishes.”
“Chasing healing involves the daring act of forgiveness. …forgiveness is a revolutionary act because it involves remembering the pain and sin and forgiving it anyway. It’s a holy letting-go, allowing God’s justice to pervade the situation. ‘When we forgive evil we do not excuse it, we do not tolerate it, we do not smother it. We look the evil full in the face, call it what it is, let its horror shock and stun and enrage us, and only then do we forgive it.’”
Mary then gives 12 steps to pursue healing. Here are a few that stuck with me…
“1. Hidden secrets never heal. You may be adept at pushing your pain down, but it’s exhausting work and it will eventually resurface, usually in your behavior.
2. Share your story with a trusted friend.
3. Grieve. It’s okay to say that what happened back there hurt terribly.
4. Ask others to pray for you.”
There’s more, but that’s where I want to focus. Ask others to pray. Which is another form of asking for help. {Ya know, that one thing we find so hard to do.} Because we don’t want to let anyone else into our pain. Because {remembering how I felt} it takes so much effort just to carry our own pain that the thought of opening it up to let someone else in…almost requires too much energy.
But you can’t sit there anymore all by yourself clutching your bag of pain…if you want to truly be free. You have to let it go.
Regardless of what it looks like.
Regardless of how you feel.
Regardless of what ‘they’ may say.
And in the end, who really cares what ‘they’ say? I mean, isn’t walking in freedom worth risking everything to get it?
It is. Because I’ve done it before.
And while I can honestly say I’m nowhere near perfect {not even on the same continent}, I have been made ‘whole’. And I hope, one day, you will be able to say the same.
I started to hit ‘publish’ when Mary DeMuth’s last point seemed to be a blinking light, begging to be shared…“Realize that the hallmark of growth in the Christian life is self-awareness. The more you are aware of who you are, what motivates you, how you respond to wounding, what scares you, who pushes your buttons, why you’re afraid, and where you’re tempted, the more you’re able to discern the healing path. If you have a hard time knowing yourself, dare to ask a trusted friend for feedback. Be willing to be open.” {Beautiful Battle/some emphasis mine}
But, of course. There it is again. Open up. Ask for help. Allow someone to come alongside you and help you release your past.
Because if you don’t release it, it will eventually be your downfall. And what a shame it would be to waste a good lesson after you’ve come this far…don’t you think?
{Image courtesy of Flickr, Video from YouTube.com}
